3 Tips for Picking Your Wedding Ceremony Songs

Some of us have had out weddings planned since we were children. Others of us… not so much! When it comes to picking music for your wedding ceremony, it can seem like a daunting task. You’ll remember what you walked down the aisle to for years to come, so the selection is important! Here are three tips for choosing songs for your wedding.

1.) Know Your Musicians

Are you going to have live music for your ceremony, or will your DJ be playing something? Whoever is playing the music for your ceremony is important to consider. If you have a solo instrumentalist, or even a duet, there are just some songs that aren’t going to translate well. If you’re hoping to have your favorite electronic, hip hop, or metal song played for your ceremony, it’s not going to sound the same on solo violin or a violin and cello duet. This is because there are a lot of things going on in those kinds of songs, and we won’t have a drum set or a backing track to play with. There are some melodies that I can work with and make really beautiful, but it will be different. If you are having a hard time picturing your song being played on the ensemble you hired for your wedding, I suggest looking up covers of the songs online. This will help you get an idea of what to expect. If you can’t find a cover played by your instrumentation online, it’s likely because, unfortunately, it doesn’t work very well. I would consider having your DJ play those songs if you are attached to them – then it will be exactly how you pictured it!

2.) Consider the Timing for the Processional

The trickiest thing to plan is the processional. The timing is pretty key here and you’ll need to take that into consideration when choosing songs. Be thinking of things like, how big is your wedding party, if you have one? Do you want a separate song for when your party walks and when you walk? How long is the aisle at your venue? These will all play a part in the timing for your wedding. For this reason, it’s a good idea to pick a song that is easy for your musicians to stop if they need to. My suggestion is to find a song with a repeated or repetitive melody in the chorus. A couple of great examples of this are Perfect by Ed Sheeran and A Thousand Years by Christina Perri. This makes it easy for your musicians to stop early if they need to or repeat a section if they need more time.

Some couples have different songs for the party and the bride, and some couples have one song for everyone to walk down to. That part is up to you! Just keep in mind that if you have live music, your musicians will likely need to reset after each song (meaning they will need to take their hands off their instruments to turn the page in their music!). If you have a different song for the mothers, one for the bridal party, one for the ring bearer, another for the flower girl, and finally one more song for the bride, it’s probably going to sound a little choppy.

If you are struggling to find a song, ask your musician what they reccomend! They will be able to provide you with a list of ideas.

3.) The Recessional Song(s) Should be Special

The songs you choose for the processional will likely not be played all the way through. However, the song for your recessional will be. If you have a song that you absolutely love, I highly suggest choosing that for the recessional rather than the processional! You’ll likely be too overwhelmed to hear the processional music anyway!

What do you think of these tips? I’d love to hear what songs you’ve chosen for your ceremony below!

Back to School: COVID and Violin Lessons

Well, Michigan has officially survived it’s first couple weeks of Back to School! Most of my students are back in the classroom, and with covid rates rising, so are tensions. In these unprecedented times, I find my fellow teachers and myself have all been wondering, “how do I provide excellent music education with these restrictions?” My suggestions for today are mainly geared towards private lessons, but if you are an orchestra teacher looking for advice, I would love it if you gained a few tips from me today! 

Here is my guide to surviving the Fall Season while also making lessons fun for your students!

  1. Plan, Plan, Plan!

This may seem a little counterproductive right now. How are we supposed to plan for something when everything can change at a moment’s notice? Here is my advice: plan anyway. Have a back up plan. Heck, have two! With an impending recession, parents are going to start looking at their spending and cutting things that aren’t necessary. You’ll have to ask yourself if you are providing lessons that you would make a priority for your own child if you were in their shoes. Are you prepared with something to learn each week and have a plan for how to keep things light and fun during these heavy and not-so-fun times? Or are you winging a lesson here and there and waiting to see what the student does to plan how the lesson goes on the spot? Don’t get me wrong – I know that a lot of the lesson will go according to how prepared your student goes, but you can also have a plan for whether they are prepared or not. Unfortunately, right now you need to be treating lessons like an audition. Just like an audition, you can’t give them any reason not to want you, which means being prepared with a lesson plan and a back up lesson plan to keep your student engaged. 

  1. Try not to mention the masks

In Michigan, we are required to wear masks inside public places. This includes my studio. For some students, the masks are no problem. I have one student whose mother is a nurse, and she has not once commented on her mask. Instead, she arrives at each lesson with a properly fitting mask and doesn’t fiddle with it (see what I did there). What a dream it would be if all of our students were like this! Unfortunately, it can be a huge hindrance for some. Remember, your student is starting one of the most stressful school years of their lives. The mask is just one more thing they have to deal with right now and for some, it’s borderline too much. However, there’s really not much we can do about that right now. Regardless of what you believe, your music studio can be fined if you are reported not wearing a mask with your students. For most music studios, this would be bad news, as most of us have already lost a considerable amount of money this year. So, the best thing to do is not to bring it up. That’s not to say you should ignore your student if they do, but never be the first one to talk about the mask unless it is extremely important. If you bring it up and complain, then they will be reminded about how much they hate them too, and you’ll spend about 5 minutes trying to get a de-railed lesson back on track. So here is my advice: pretend that you aren’t even wearing them. Don’t fidget with them if you can help it (I know this can be near impossible for my fellow glasses-wearers). When a student starts to complain about them, don’t ignore them. Listen to them and say you understand. You can remind them that the lesson is fairly short and they can take their mask off after. Here is something that I had suggested to me by a colleague: if it is really becoming a hindrance, have them take a 5 minute break in the restroom. They can take off their mask when they are alone and then come back to their lesson ready to learn. My last bit of advice for this one is to try your best to be patient. Everyone is doing the best with what they have right now and this includes your students. It’s hard for a 9 year old to understand what’s going on and they are often too young to understand why the change in routine is distressing to them. If they spend half of the lesson playing with their mask instead of the violin, remember that they are doing their best for right now and make it a goal to spend a few more minutes with the violin at the next lesson. 

  1. Keep it Fun

I am a violin teacher. Half of my job is to teach my students how to play the violin. The other half of my job is to create a space where they feel safe enough to talk, make mistakes, learn, and have a little bit (or a lot) of fun. Right now, what our students need, more than knowing how to play all the Suzuki Twinkle Variations, is to have a safe, dependable place where they can use their instrument as an outlet. I read an article recently that talked a little bit about transactional relationships vs transformational relationships. A transactional relationship basically means, “I do this, so you do that”. In other words, I give you this exercise, you learn this technique. This is something that even under normal circumstances, will likely bring both you and your student frustration. In a global pandemic when school schedules are different and everyone is stressed, treating your lessons like this will certainly bring you and your student a lot of frustration. Instead, focus on having a transformational relationship. Learn to teach that student in a way that helps them learn. It’s not the same for everyone, which is something as teachers we know, but sometimes forget. If you can manage to stay mindful of this with each of your students, you both will be better off. 

  1. Take care of yourself

Your students need you more than ever to take care of them this school year, and in order to do that, you first need to take care of yourself. This means get enough sleep, eat healthy food once in a while, drink water, and take any meds you have to take. It also means to give yourself breaks, not to overload your schedule, and to be aware of burnout and how to help recover from it. Something that really helps me with burnout is journaling, and talking with someone I love about it. I also see a therapist each week to help cope with my struggles and grow. Do you have a therapist yet? Everyone should go at some point, and coping with a global pandemic seems as good a reason as any to make an appointment! If finances are a concern, ask if there is an intern you can see. Interns have almost every credit for their degrees, they just need a certain number of hours at an internship. They are often much more budget-friendly if you don’t have insurance that covers psychotherapy! There are also online options as well. The hardest part is making the appointment, then the rest is just follow-through. 

  1. Remember, your best is all you have

We’re all doing our best here, and none of us are perfect. None of us in the US have dealt with something like this before and it’s tough sometimes! Also, remember that your best is not doing so much that you end up exhausted and stressed. Your best is the best you can do while still maintaining your well-being. 

How have your lessons been going? I want to know! Comment below or send me an email so we can chat! 

A Pandemic Wedding

I was fortunate to play for a wedding a few weeks ago for the first time since the Stay at Home order. The process was certainly different, but I was so happy for the product we were able to produce given the circumstances! 

One of the women in my quartet has a compromised immune system, so our safety was one of my highest concerns. In order to stay safe, we did things a little differently, including rehearsing in her yard! It was a HOT July afternoon, but it ended up being really fun! We were able to sit spaced out so we wouldn’t need to wear masks. We didn’t have as much time to rehearse as we normally do, but the group really pulled together and we made it work just as well as we would have pre-covid. 

The bride was SO sweet and amazing to work with right from the get-go, but I was still a little nervous for the wedding. I didn’t know how it was going to go. Would people be crowding us without masks on? Is the bride going to be okay with us wearing masks since we need to be sitting so close together? The wedding was outside, so what if it were to rain? Are my quartet members going to be comfortable? A lot of things right now are uncertain, and for someone who likes to know exactly what I’m getting into, that was a challenge for me as I prepared for the wedding. However, I was thrilled to find that I didn’t really have much to worry about! The venue was beautifully set up. We were originally staged on the lawn, but we moved to a covered area when it looked like rain. Luckily, for the ceremony and the whole cocktail hour, all that we had was a few raindrops. The guest list had been reduced to about 50 people, but the bride and groom looked so happy to be there and to have made everything work despite all the hurdles thrown in their way. 

I think the most surprising thing for me was how happy it made me to play with others again. As an introvert I don’t really notice that I’m missing those social interactions until I have them again. It was 90 degrees and we were all wearing dress blacks with masks, but it was SO worth it, and I was so happy that we didn’t have to sacrifice our safety to do it! It was so fun to play with everyone again, and I can’t wait until my next gig!!!